Wedding Night Jitters
((This is a collaboration of the players of Phillipa Rackham (maiden name Prince), and Philip Rackham. There is implied sex but it fades to black well before hand))
The hour is getting late, and at first Philip barely notices, too absorbed in his new wife's company. At last, however, he sees that it has become quite dark outside, and blinks with surprise, before suggesting, "Well, my darling, and shall we go to bed now? It is later than I had realized." The word--"bed"--makes nervousness rise up in him, and he tries to tamp it down, giving her a cheerful smile.
Pippa has been so busy, between talking to Philip and unpacking her belongings that Mrs. Hatch had sent over, that she has hardly had time to think about what came at the end of the evening. She has not even had the opportunity to change out of the dress she wore to the ceremony. She looks up with a bit of trepidation but manages a bright smile and a nod. "Yes, I suppose we should. You will have to help me out of this dress though." She blushes slightly at the thought of being helped to disrobe by a man instead of a maid. But he is her /husband/ and who else should do it but him?
He nearly blushes, too, but nods valiantly. "Of course." He realizes he has no idea how to help a lady out of a dress, and is suddenly glad once more that it is Pippa that he has married, for with anyone else he would feel even more awkward about the idea than he does already. He thinks she will understand his uncertainty, and is grateful for it. "Er...shall...shall we go to the bedchamber, then?" He hopes she, at least, is not too nervous.
Pippa nods and rises from her place in a nearby chair to follow him to the bedroom, /their/ bedroom. It seems strange, the idea of sharing a room when she has not done so since she was much younger, and then only with Angelica. This was an entirely different kettle of fish. As they enter the bedroom, she takes a moment to look around it again. Earlier she had been too busy finding homes for all her things to really pay much attention. "It .. it is a lovely room," she says uncertainly, though she forces herself to take a breath and relax. This was /Philip/ and if there was anyone she could be comfortable with it was him.
Philip looks around as well, following her gaze, and smiles hesitantly. "I am...very glad you like it," he responds. And he is, really. He took special pains to make this room just right for her. It is just that there are other things on his mind right now...things like how odd it is to have her in what used to be his bedroom, and to know that they will be sharing the room, and the bed. Good heavens. Noticing her deep breath, he decides this is a good idea, and takes one himself, before turning to her and giving her a smile. "Well, then. Shall we get that dress off you? I almost hate to do so, as you look quite wonderful in it, but I expect you are rather uncomfortable by now." Ladies' clothes /are/ uncomfortable, aren't they? From what he knows of them, they must be, surely.
Pippa is very glad to see she is not the only anxious one of the two of them. But at least there /are/ two of them. Between them surely they can face anything. "Yes, please. Let me find my nightgown." She rummages through a trunk still unpacked, and turns back, laying the gown across the bed and then turning back to him for a moment. "You will have to undo my stays. I cannot unlace them myself." With that, she gives him a hesitant smile and turns her back to him.
Philip nods and watches her rummage, wondering if he ought to offer his help with this part or if she can find it herself. She does so before he can decide, and he swallows as she speaks, wishing he were somehow better prepared for this. Still, he smiles back at her, and takes another breath before his hands cautiously move to the fastenings of her dress, and he begins to undo them. This isn't so hard, he decides after a moment, and works a little faster, pleased with himself.
She is unsure what to do with her hands as he helps her with the dress. What does she normally do with them when it is a maid helping her? For the life of her, she cannot remember. As she feels the fastenings give way, she finds herself to grow only more nervous. This is ridiculous. He is her /husband/ and she has prepared herself for this. She cannot think of exactly /why/ she is so uncertain. It isn't as if he will suddenly change his mind about being married to her.
Feeling her tense under his hands, he pauses in his work and says abruptly, "See here...this won't do. We are both abominably nervous, are we not? But we are being quite ridiculous, really. We love each other, and this is...this is /permitted/ now. What is more, it is quite /expected/. So...so we shall simply have to try to relax, will we not?" He gently turns her around and smiles at her, feeling a little better from his speech, and hoping it helps her as well.
His words help. She forces her shoulders to fall, her stomach to unclench, as she allows him to turn her around. She gives him a small smile and nods. "Yes, I suppose you are right." She looks down for a moment, trying to think how to explain /why/ she is nervous, but if she is honest, she isn't sure herself. "I am simply unused to..." She waves her hand vaguely as if it will explain everything when her words have failed her. "It is not /you/ that makes me nervous. You know that right?"
He watches her think, and takes another breath to keep hold of the calm he felt a moment ago. When she speaks, he grins a little and nods. "I know. And I hope you know likewise; /you/ are not the one causing /me/ to be nervous, either. I am quite unused to...all this...as well." He hopes she understands. Then he laughs, shaking his head. "What a pair we are!"
Pippa laughs some as he grins, releasing a slow exhale and realizing that except for the occasional deep breath, she has been holding hers for too long. "I do know. Or at least, I think I knew. Perhaps not." She wonders how long it will take for them to fall into a routine, to grow used to one another and be comfortable and easy in everything they do. "Indeed. If anyone else knew how nervous we are they would likely think us quite ridiculous." She leans her forehead against his and closes her eyes, hoping that it will calm her that much more.
He nods and smiles. "Well, know now, my love, for it is not you at all." Laughing softly again, he gladly puts his arms around her and leans his own forehead on hers in return, his eyes shut as well. "Yes, perhaps they would. Thankfully, however, it is just the two of us who know, and since we are /both/ being ridiculous, we can allow one another to do so, I think. So I suppose we may be nervous if we choose... However, it seems to me that we will have an easier time of it if we choose not to do so, do not you think?" he babbles in a murmur, his breath blowing on her lips. He notices how close she is, and decides that he likes it that way. He could kiss her like this...
Twining her arms around his neck, she smiles more readily than she has since night fell, though neither of them can see it with their eyes closed. "I will try not to be nervous if you will," she promises quietly, quite liking the feel of being this close to him without worrying about scandal or rumor or getting caught. He is hers to do with as she pleases, and even though the idea of what that might mean is still intimidating, it does make her feel better in a way.
"Mmm...good," agrees Philip, one hand reaching up to stroke her hair without thinking. He hadn't realized until now just how much he had missed being so close to her, even just for the short time it's been since he last kissed her. Deciding it is much past time to make up for that, he moves to press his lips to hers, kissing her gently. That is so much better, he decides, and pulls her closer to him.
As his hand moves up to her hair, Pippa smiles and leans back enough that she can lift a hand to pull the pins from her hair. It falls down around her shoulders, the length nearly to her waist. She breathes a small sigh of relief, glad to have the pins gone. His mouth on hers is the very thing she needed to leech the tension remaining in her body. Her arms return to his neck, her fingers moving to play with the hair at the nape of his neck as they kiss.
He sighs softly against her mouth at the gentle touch. As her hair falls down around them, he smiles a bit and runs a hand through it, loving its softness against his fingers. This is perfect. His kiss deepens, though he keeps it soft and gentle, wanting to go easy on them both. Drawing her closer still, he allows his other hand to trail up and down her back.
Her mouth opens to his as he pulls her to him, their bodies as close as they've ever been. As close as she's ever been to anyone before. To her surprise, she is not afraid or even nervous anymore. His fingers along her spine send shivers through her and she laughs a little into their kiss. Pulling away from him for a moment, she smiles. "Have I told you since we were married that I love you?"
He, too, is a little more comfortable now; kissing her feels so /right/ that it would be hard not to. Her laugh makes him smile against her mouth, and it only gets wider as she pulls back slightly and smiles at him. "I don't remember...but I am very glad to hear it," he replies with a small chuckle. "I love you, too, you know. Very much."
Leaning her forehead against his, she laughs again. “I should hope so, as you are stuck with me now.” She wraps her arms more tightly around his neck and kisses him again for a moment before sighing against his mouth. “I did not know I could be so happy.”
"Oh, no, you are quite right! Whatever /shall/ I do?" he asks playfully, a hand to his forehead, and then kisses back gladly. Her words make him smile again. "You are not alone in that, my dear. But I am very glad to hear it. I should like to make you happy all the time, you know."
“I cannot imagine how you wouldn’t. You have to do very little to keep me as deliriously happy as I am now. Knowing I have you all to myself is more than I could have known to ask for.” Pippa kisses him around a bright smile. She feels as if she must be glowing with contentment.
He caresses her cheek as he returns the kiss, reveling in the way her skin feels under his fingertips. So soft...so perfect, just like her. "I am glad to hear it, because you certainly do have me all to yourself," he replies. "I am quite at your disposal now, and you may do whatever you like with me for the rest of our lives." He grins. "I do hope you will treat me kindly."
She leans into his touch, sighing against his lips. “How could I do anything but? I should not wish to run you off so soon after making you mine.” After a moment of hesitation, she drops her arms from his neck and tries to finish undoing the rest of the fastenings on her dress. While she could kiss him like that forever, she feels emboldened by the easiness of how things are between them at the moment. “Help please?” she asks finally.
He laughs softly at her words, and then watches with mingled emotions as she attempts to finish unfastening her dress--leftover nervousness is present, but mostly there is love, and a strange eagerness. When she asks for his help, he grins at her and kisses her forehead. "Turn around?" he requests.
Pippa nods and turns around, holding very still so he might more easily help her undress. She cannot deny she is still a little worried, but at least Mrs. Hartwell has offered insight into what to expect. And if there is anyone she would trust to share such a thing with, it is Philip.
He fumbles a little with the fastenings, and laughs as he manages them at last. "How do you put up with doing /that/ every day?" he demands, shaking his head. "Good heavens!" The back of her neck in front of him is suddenly very tempting, and he places a gentle kiss to it.
“Usually with a servant. Mrs. Hatch has a couple of maids who help the girls.” She decides not to worry right now about who will help her in and out of her dresses from here on out. That can wait for tomorrow. His lips on her neck make her shiver, a smile blooming once more on her lips. “You can keep doing that for as long as you like. Though my stays will have to be dealt with eventually.” She blushes at the thought and looks down at the floor to hide it.
"Oh, I see." Philip nods. "Still, it seems a great deal of trouble to be going through." He smiles and kisses her neck again, then again, pleased by her reaction. "Oh, gracious, and the dress isn't even all of it! I am quite surprised you don't get frustrated with it all and simply go about in your underthings! I should if I were you!" His lips go back to her skin, as he finds it quite addictive.
Pippa tips her head forward to give him better access to her neck, though she does giggle at his words. “I think I would be chased out of town with the scandal that would cause.” Her heart seems to beat a little faster each time his lips return to her skin, no matter how steadily she makes herself breathe.
He laughs against her neck, his breath puffing against it, and continues kissing her between words. "Yes...I suppose you might. And that would never do...for I am quite glad to have you living here with me." His kisses work their way around to the side of her neck, his thumbs rubbing against her shoulders.
“I am certainly not complaining about being here.” She tilts her head to the side almost without thinking, relishing the feel of his lips against her skin. The dress is loose enough with its fastenings undone that if she moves just so it falls from her shoulders and settles in a pool of silvery blue satin sat her feet.
"Good." He smiles and goes on kissing her, loving the way she's reacting. When her dress slips off, his hands slide down her arms, then back up again, before an arm locks around her waist, pulling her even closer.
As he pulls her to him, Pippa can only smile. She leans her head back against him to give him easier access to her throat as she closes her eyes. It feels like they could spend hours like this, just basking in one another’s company. “Don’t stop,” she whispers.
The quality of her voice makes his breath catch a bit. "Alright," he agrees softly, his mouth still pressing against her skin over and over. "I won't."
She bites her lip as he continues to kiss her neck and throat, and presses herself more closely against him. Her hand comes up to grip the arm at her waist as she reaches back her other hand to find his.
Her hand slips into hers, and he squeezes it, his kisses drifting a little lower, trailing down towards her shoulder. Without really thinking about it, he nibbles softly at her skin.
A small sound of pleasure slips past her lips at the feeling of his teeth barely grazing her skin. If this is how the whole night shall be, then she wonders why she ever worried to begin with. This is easy, and perfect in a way she could not have imagined. Turning her face toward his, she opens her eyes and looks at him, hoping he will kiss her lips again for a moment.
Smiling at the sound, pleased to get such a reaction from her, he squeezes her hand. When she turns to him, he gladly moves back to her mouth, his kiss a little more intense than it was before, hunger for her beginning to spark in it. His arm unwraps from around her waist so he can run his fingers through her hair again.
The added passion to his kiss sends a thrill through Pippa that she does not expect. Knowing that he wants her makes her all the more desiring of him, and she pours that into the kiss, opening her mouth to his. His fingers in her hair send little shivers down her spine and she sighs against his mouth, as happy as she's ever been.
Her fervor surprises him slightly, but he willingly returns it, wanting to show her just how much he wants her--and that desire is growing with every second that passes. Feeling her shudder and sigh, he repeats the gesture, his nails trailing against her scalp, and then pulls back enough to whisper against her lips, "I love you, my Pippa," before kissing down her neck again.
His words make her feel as if she must be glowing brighter than the sun with her happiness and she whispers back, "I love you too, my darling." She tilts her neck so he can continue kissing her, though she turns slightly so she is facing him more and can trail her fingers of one hand down his arm and around to his back where she can trace the line of his back. With the other hand, she reaches behind her to pull at the laces of her stays, though she has difficulty tugging at the laces on her own.
He sighs contentedly at her words and her touch on his back, loving the electricity that sparks underneath her fingers. Seeing where her other hand goes, he reaches back as well to attempt to help her, although he's not much better at it than she is, being unused to such fastenings. Still, he manages to get the laces undone and loosened, and smiles. "There," he says triumphantly, pleased with himself, and slips the stays off. She is left in even fewer garments than before, and he stops kissing her for a moment to take in the beautiful sight.
She is glad for his help until the stays fall and she stands there before him in nothing but her petticoat. Blushing under his gaze, she looks down, finding herself nervous once more even though she knows she shouldn't be. It was actually easier when he was kissing her than it is now so she moves back to kiss him again.
He allows it for a moment, but then pulls back again, slipping his fingers under her chin to keep her looking at him. "You've no need to worry," he whispers, his eyes alight. "You are beautiful, my love." He seals the words with a kiss, but pulls away once more to let her answer him.
Pippa smiles a little and shakes her head. "It is not that," she admits. "It is only that I am not accustomed to people looking at me -- especially like that -- when I am in this state." Rather than continue to stand there so he can look at her in such a way, she steps closer to him and runs her hands along his lapels and then slips them inside his jacket to push it off his shoulders. "We've completely forgotten your own clothing, I'm afraid."
He smiles at her. "That is fair, I suppose. Still, you may have to get used to my looking at you, for I like it excessively," he adds teasingly, and then laughs and helps her get his jacket off. "Yes, I suppose we have. I do not believe you can blame /me/ for that, for I was quite distracted by how lovely you are...which leaves us blaming /you/. I do hope you don't mind."
"I do mind, very much, but I shall forgive the urge." She laughs a bit as well, and begins with the buttons on his waistcoat, though she fumbles them as her hands have begun shaking again. Her cheeks heat once more and she looks up at the ceiling wishing she could stop blushing. "You will have to forgive me. I am unused to undressing a man."
"Oh, very well, then." He pretends to be disgruntled, but ruins it with a smile. When she blushes and fumbles, he can easily forgive her, as his cheeks are slightly flushed, too. "That is quite all right. I am unused to being undressed, at least by a woman, so I suppose we can get used to such things together."
At first she almost thinks he truly is frustrated with her, but then he smiles and she releases the breath she was holding. When he reassures her that they are both inexperienced in this, she looks back at him with a slightly less worried smile. "It certainly does make it slightly easier knowing I am not in this alone." Her fingers still tremble as she finishes unbuttoning his waistcoat and looks up at him so he might take it off.
Seeing that she doesn't sense his teasing until a moment later, he makes a mental note to be careful with it. Her smile gladdens him, and he smiles back. "I am glad to hear it, then. I must admit, it makes it easier for me, as well." When she finishes with his waistcoat, he smiles again, catches her hands in his, and brings them to his mouth to kiss each one before letting go so he can remove his the article of clothing.
As he removes his waistcoat, she moves closer again, sliding her hands down his chest and then hesitating. She bites her lip for a moment before moving her hands beneath his shirt to feel his skin beneath it. Her pulse thunders in her ears as she runs her hands along his chest and around to his back beneath his shirt. Feeling a bit better about things, she kisses him again, almost tentatively.
His eyes close and he takes a shaky breath as he feels her hands on his bare skin, her touch even more electric. It is amazing how something so simple can produce such results, such desire in him, and he shivers with it. When he feels the uncertainty in her kiss, he tries to keep his own gentle so as not to worry her, but it's hard when he wants her so badly now.
Something about how gentle he is with her makes her slightly more bold, though she wonders if the nerves will ever completely leave her. She allows herself to kiss him a bit more deeply, as she explores his torso with her hands. After a moment she pulls away again, giving him a hesitant look. "We could go to bed," she suggests, then looks down quickly. "If you want, I mean."
He sighs happily into her mouth at her kiss, his fingers going back to her hair again, as she seemed to like that earlier. At her words, he smiles and nods, a quick "Yes" escaping from his mouth. Then he second-guesses himself, wondering if she means what he thinks, or if she just means going to sleep, and adds, "That is--oh, dear, this is silly"...and he picks her up, an arm under her knees and one around her shoulders, just like earlier when he carried her over the threshold. Bringing her to the bed, he sets her down and then climbs over her, bending to kiss her before asking softly, "All right?"
She cannot help but laugh a little at him saying it is silly, but it is cut off by a squeak as he suddenly picks her up. She wraps her arms around his neck, glad that he has taken her meaning. Her knees were already wobbly, so she finds herself quite relieved that she will not be forced to walk to bed when she knows she is more nervous now than she was moments ago. As he kisses her, his body above hers, she makes herself relax, not wanting him to think she is not wanting this. She smiles up at him and nods. "Yes, of course."
His own nervousness is somewhat relieved by her relaxation, and by her smile and immediate response. "Good," he murmurs, and keeps kissing her, his thoughts only on her. She tastes sweet, her own unique taste that is so Pippa that it makes him kiss her all the more thoroughly just so that he can experience it some more. This is a wonderful thing, he quickly decides, and he is very glad that they are finally married.
Somehow, for some reason, this feels easier. Their bodies being so close together as they kiss feels that much more intimate of course, but not standing awkwardly in the middle of the room eases any remaining nerves. Her hands trace up his back and neck to tangle in his hair as she kisses him. And it is wonderful that he is not in any rush, as she is still taking time to grow used to having him so near to her.
Her hands in his hair elicit a soft noise of pleasure, and the feel of her in his arms, pressed against him like this is amazing. After a few moments, his tongue nudges gently at her lips in a silent request, his hands rubbing over her arms and shoulders and caressing her face, exploring the feel of her soft, warm skin.
She feels gratified to know she can make him so pleased with her. Never had she imagined she could feel so safe in someone's arms, or want to be with someone quite as much as she does. Opening her lips to his, she sighs into their kiss, enjoying the feel of his hands on her skin. Any sense of nervousness has nearly passed, and she forces even that from her mind. Being in bed with him, with so few articles of clothing between them is not something she could have realized she wants, but she is glad for it now.
Philip feels the sigh and smiles, pleased because he can tell she is pleased. He wants to make her happy always, and it certainly doesn't hurt that this is making him happy, too. As their tongues dance in a rhythm all their own, he wonders how it is even possible to be this glad, to feel so much like he is afire and glowing. It is the most wonderful sensation, and he hopes to feel it forever, and hopes Pippa feels it as well.
This is perfect, she decides. And when it does move on to what Mrs. Hartwell carefully explained to her, Pippa thinks she will be alright with that as well. If it is to take place with Philip then it cannot be any less wonderful than this. She allows her hands to explore Philip's torso, though she is still too shy to allow her hands to explore elsewhere. "Philip, should we...?" She trails off, unsure of how to ask.
"Mmm..." He opens his eyes, which had closed at the feeling of her hands on his skin, and smiles at her. "If you mean what I think you do, then decidedly, yes," he murmurs, caressing her cheek. He is still a little unsure of how this goes, but he knows they will find out together, and he's sure it will leave them happy. Something occurs to him, and he adds quickly, "If you are quite ready, that is?"
His enthusiam makes her smile, her last worries slipping away. She smiles and kisses him again, deciding that if she is ever going to be ready, now is the time. She trusts him, and that is what matters. Shifting beneath him slightly, she hopes it is enough to tell him without saying so aloud that she wants him. "Yes. Most definitely." Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulls him down to kiss him again, more deeply this time.
((FADE TO BLACK))
Philip discovers, at the end of it all, that he was quite right about its leaving them happy. At least, he knows /he/ is entirely happy. Holding his Pippa close to him, he strokes her hair absently. "I hope that was alright, my love?" he murmurs with a smile, and kisses the top of her head, then just takes her in, admiring her.
Pippa feels drowsy and blissful as she lies with her head resting on Philip's chest. She absently traces her fingers up and down his side, smiling as he runs his hands over her hair. "It was very much alright, darling. I do not know why we were so nervous." She laughs a little and turns her face to press a kiss into his skin.
He laughs, too, and shrugs. "I am not at all sure, either. But I am very glad it was so nice, for both of us. And have I mentioned yet that I am also very glad we are married? This is just one more reason." He smiles and kisses her hair again, his free hand running along her back, just enjoying being able to touch her in such a simple, affectionate way.
"If you have, it is not as if I will be dismayed to hear it again, as I am very glad too." She lifts her face so that he might kiss her lips instead of her hair, a small shiver running through her at his hand on her bare skin. "I do love you so very much. I think I could stay here with you forever." She sighs and closes her eyes for a moment, realizing it would not take her long to fall asleep at all.
Continuing to caress her back, Philip smiles and obeys the silent request, kissing her gently and reveling in the taste of her lips and the sweetness of the kiss. "As I love you, my darling. And I should like that very much. Perhaps we ought to plan on it." He grins when he sees her droop a little. "Tired, sweet? You may certainly go to sleep if you like."
The caresses on her back only make her drowsier, the safety and security and bliss of being tucked against Philip lulling her into a calm. "Yes, let's do that." She nods and closes her eyes with a happy little sigh. When he speaks again, she opens her eyes after a moment and looks up at him. "It has been quite a long day. And I am very warm and comfortable."
He smiles again. "Good, then, it is quite settled." He sees her sleepiness and laughs a little at what she says. "It /has/ been a long day, though a very nice one. I am glad you are comfortable, however. So am I, for that matter. And--" He is abruptly cut off by a yawn, and laughs again. "Well, I suppose I am a little bit sleepy, as well."
Pippa laughs as Philip's words are interrupted, and she leans up to kiss him. "Then I say we sleep. There will be a million days and nights we can talk and enjoy each other, but for now, I just wish to curl up in your arms and dream of how lovely our day was." She kisses him again and then snuggles into his side and closes her eyes again.
He smiles, kissing back, and nods. "That sounds like a wonderful plan to me," he agrees quietly, dropping one more kiss on the top of her head before closing his own eyes. It doesn't take him long to fall fast asleep, and he dreams of his future life with his new wife.